I am constantly amazed at how different things are with my second baby compared with my first. Let's talk about some of the ways....
1. Melody's birth was much faster than James' and she came out 2 lbs lighter than him, so I didn't have to work nearly as hard to bring her into the world. As a result, my recovery has been exponentially smoother. Pretty much the next day I was ready to hit the ground running. When we came home, I immediately set to getting some housework done. I love how I feel. Which is good, because....
2. There is very little rest to be had when you have an older child. I've been lucky in that for my week home alone, James has still been able to go to daycare and play with others so I could rest with the baby, but even that involves some work getting two kids in and out of the house by myself only a few days after giving birth! The next two weeks we'll be bonding as a family while Dustin takes his paternity leave, so I'll have his help supervising and entertaining the big kid while caring for the baby. But I'm certainly not going to ignore my first born and deprive my husband of newborn snuggles; I have to be more active than I did as a first time mom. Thankfully I'm not too terribly exhausted, because...
3. I'm cosleeping with the baby. Yes, I'm well aware that is frowned upon these days, but it happens that it can be extremely beneficial for both mom and baby if it's done safely. That means pillows and blankets far away from baby, and in our case it also means going to a separate bed from Daddy the heavy sleeper. I never even considered it with James as a newborn because I was so consumed with following all the rules, but when he was 4 months old and waking up to nurse every 2 hours after I had gone back to work, it became the only option for us. Having had the practice, I felt totally comfortable trying it right out of the gate with Melody, and it has been wonderful. She seems to need that closeness to stay asleep, so it is helping us both get the rest we need.
4. Everything seems easier. I remember learning how to nurse James; I had to be sitting just right, Boppy pillow in my lap, and have someone hand him to me while I sat perfectly still until he was finished. This time, I am holding Melody to the breast with one arm while I help James get dressed with the other, then I'm up and about while she's still nursing away! Handling her feels infinitely less scary in general.
5. When I had James, we spent almost his entire first week of life in the hospital for him to get some needed extra care. Melody had a clean bill of health right off the bat, so we actually got to go home a day early. Guys, I cannot adequately express to you how exciting it was to go home to my own bed and sleep without nurses coming in to check on us every hour.
6. James' second week of life was filled with visitors. Almost every member of our immediate families came to meet him, and we were bouncing from house to house for all the get-togethers. I loved being surrounded by people who love us, but man was that exhausting. This time, it's been much quieter. I have enjoyed being able to focus on my little family.
7. I was on medication for depression and anxiety before and during the pregnancy and still am, which helped regulate my hormones after giving birth. I didn't even realize how emotional and anxious I was with James until now that I'm NOT feeling that way.
8. When James was getting treated for jaundice, he couldn't come out from under the lights except to eat every 2-3 hours. That meant that I couldn't nurse him on demand; we were forced to follow a schedule. Melody, however, gets offered a boob every time she cries, and 9 times out of 10 that's what she wants. It has helped my milk come in faster and it has helped keep her happier. We've also been able to snuggle more, which I think not only helps keep baby content, but also helps my mental/emotional wellbeing.
9. Different strokes for different folks...of course there's the obvious differences of having a girl vs. a boy. No circumcision wound to take care of, which is wonderful. But she even has different personal preferences already! She doesn't like being swaddled (what?!), and she barely takes a pacifier. So interested to see what differences continue to show up as they grow up.
10. Having an older child who loves on his baby sister is a whole new experience, and my heart is bursting with pride and love.
1. Melody's birth was much faster than James' and she came out 2 lbs lighter than him, so I didn't have to work nearly as hard to bring her into the world. As a result, my recovery has been exponentially smoother. Pretty much the next day I was ready to hit the ground running. When we came home, I immediately set to getting some housework done. I love how I feel. Which is good, because....
2. There is very little rest to be had when you have an older child. I've been lucky in that for my week home alone, James has still been able to go to daycare and play with others so I could rest with the baby, but even that involves some work getting two kids in and out of the house by myself only a few days after giving birth! The next two weeks we'll be bonding as a family while Dustin takes his paternity leave, so I'll have his help supervising and entertaining the big kid while caring for the baby. But I'm certainly not going to ignore my first born and deprive my husband of newborn snuggles; I have to be more active than I did as a first time mom. Thankfully I'm not too terribly exhausted, because...
3. I'm cosleeping with the baby. Yes, I'm well aware that is frowned upon these days, but it happens that it can be extremely beneficial for both mom and baby if it's done safely. That means pillows and blankets far away from baby, and in our case it also means going to a separate bed from Daddy the heavy sleeper. I never even considered it with James as a newborn because I was so consumed with following all the rules, but when he was 4 months old and waking up to nurse every 2 hours after I had gone back to work, it became the only option for us. Having had the practice, I felt totally comfortable trying it right out of the gate with Melody, and it has been wonderful. She seems to need that closeness to stay asleep, so it is helping us both get the rest we need.
4. Everything seems easier. I remember learning how to nurse James; I had to be sitting just right, Boppy pillow in my lap, and have someone hand him to me while I sat perfectly still until he was finished. This time, I am holding Melody to the breast with one arm while I help James get dressed with the other, then I'm up and about while she's still nursing away! Handling her feels infinitely less scary in general.
5. When I had James, we spent almost his entire first week of life in the hospital for him to get some needed extra care. Melody had a clean bill of health right off the bat, so we actually got to go home a day early. Guys, I cannot adequately express to you how exciting it was to go home to my own bed and sleep without nurses coming in to check on us every hour.
6. James' second week of life was filled with visitors. Almost every member of our immediate families came to meet him, and we were bouncing from house to house for all the get-togethers. I loved being surrounded by people who love us, but man was that exhausting. This time, it's been much quieter. I have enjoyed being able to focus on my little family.
7. I was on medication for depression and anxiety before and during the pregnancy and still am, which helped regulate my hormones after giving birth. I didn't even realize how emotional and anxious I was with James until now that I'm NOT feeling that way.
8. When James was getting treated for jaundice, he couldn't come out from under the lights except to eat every 2-3 hours. That meant that I couldn't nurse him on demand; we were forced to follow a schedule. Melody, however, gets offered a boob every time she cries, and 9 times out of 10 that's what she wants. It has helped my milk come in faster and it has helped keep her happier. We've also been able to snuggle more, which I think not only helps keep baby content, but also helps my mental/emotional wellbeing.
9. Different strokes for different folks...of course there's the obvious differences of having a girl vs. a boy. No circumcision wound to take care of, which is wonderful. But she even has different personal preferences already! She doesn't like being swaddled (what?!), and she barely takes a pacifier. So interested to see what differences continue to show up as they grow up.
10. Having an older child who loves on his baby sister is a whole new experience, and my heart is bursting with pride and love.
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