Before I had James, I thought nursing in public was disgusting. No one wants to see that, right?! Then throughout my pregnancy I started to get a more open mind about it. What is it, exactly, that no one wants to see? It's just a baby eating.
"But it's a boob, and it's like men whipping out their penises!" Well, it's cleavage. Really no more than you'd see in a low cut top, not to even mention the Victoria's Secret ads all over every mall in the country! Even if there is the occasional nip slip, so what? Men have nipples and no one bats an eye when they walk around shirtless. Why should it be different for women? And the penis argument only works if I'm whipping out my vajay, which isn't really physically possible.
"But why can't you just use a cover and make everyone more comfortable?" Turns out, covers are a pain in the ass. Especially with a newborn who is still learning how to nurse and need lots of help. I found myself trying to negotiate the cover so that I could see my baby and hold him with one hand while positioning my breast for him in the other but still trying to stay covered. Not worth the trouble at all, because I found that I was totally comfortable "whipping it out" in public. Hey, my kid is hungry and this is how I feed him. It's not my job to make other people comfortable. Let's see you eat under a blanket!
"But it's gross, it's like going to the bathroom in public!" Uh, no. I can't even believe this is anyone's argument. Going to the bathroom is expelling waste, while human milk is the purest form of nutrition for babies.
"Well then it's like having sex, it should be private!" Again, no. Not even a little. Anyone who compares feeding an infant to any kind of sexual gratification is kind of messed up. It's not a sexual act at all, and here's a fun fact: breasts aren't actually sex organs. Did you know that? They elicit a sexual response from straight men and lesbians because they are sexualized by our society, but their primary purpose is to produce milk to feed babies. I almost wonder if the underlying reason many men are opposed to women breastfeeding in their presence is that they don't like the reminder that breasts aren't actually for their entertainment.
"Well I'm a (insert conservative religion) and I just think you should have some modesty." Ok, well lets consider that the deity these people worship is most likely believed to have created humans, and therefore a woman nursing her baby is exactly what that deity would want. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but rather a matter of pride.
"But there are kids around!" Cool, let them look. Maybe seeing something so natural and innocent will help them avoid the weird issues so many people seem to have with breastfeeding, and will also teach them to respect the female body as more than a sexual icon.
"Can't you just stay at home if you're breastfeeding?" Sure, thanks for offering to bring me all my groceries, arrange for doctors to conduct house calls, etc. How about no, I've got shit to do.
"What about waiting until you get home? He won't starve." Sure, because I and everyone around me want to listen to a screaming baby while I wait for the waiter to bring the check and then drive home. This is more than just unpleasant for us, though, it is unhealthy for a baby to be left to scream for extended periods of time. It affects the brain chemistry in such a way as to promote aggression later in life, and it damages trust between the baby and his parents. Crying is actually a late sign of hunger; if a baby is screaming, he is VERY hungry and doesn't understand the concept of waiting until a more opportune time.
"Well then go to a public bathroom!" Gross. I don't even like to pee in public bathrooms let alone hang out in one for 20 minutes while my kid eats and absorbs all manner of germs.
"Why do you even need to breastfeed? Just give him a bottle." Sure, let me spend twice as long on every feeding as I pump milk and THEN feed it to my baby. I could just give him formula, you say? Well, nothing against moms who formula feed, but I am a firm believer in "breast is best." It is superior nutrition and offers antibodies from me that formula can't duplicate. Plus, nursing is more than just a feeding. It's a bonding experience between mother and baby that I treasure every second of. (Ok, maybe not EVERY second....)
I also want all of my readers to consider that breastfeeding is very hard in the beginning. It can become frustrating, and without a support system like the one I was very blessed to have, it is easy for new moms to decide it just isn't worth the headache. This may be a decision they will regret in the future, as it deprives them of that bonding experience and also deprives their baby of that awesome nutrition (again, I have nothing against moms who do choose to formula feed; if breastfeeding causes you too much anxiety to enjoy it or if you feel that your baby is not thriving on your milk, then by all means do what is best for your family). A tired and emotional new mom might be one rude comment away from giving up, so ask yourself if you are really SO offended that you think it is worth causing her to stop breastfeeding altogether.
Did I answer all of your questions? I hope so. But here's the thing. I didn't even HAVE to! In 46 states, state law mandates that a woman shall be allowed to breastfeed her child with or without a cover in any place where she is legally allowed to be. So that's my trump card. If you're still THAT disgusted by a mother feeding her child, take it up with your congressman. But know that you are honestly a very damaged individual if you truly have a problem with a hungry baby being fed.
"But it's a boob, and it's like men whipping out their penises!" Well, it's cleavage. Really no more than you'd see in a low cut top, not to even mention the Victoria's Secret ads all over every mall in the country! Even if there is the occasional nip slip, so what? Men have nipples and no one bats an eye when they walk around shirtless. Why should it be different for women? And the penis argument only works if I'm whipping out my vajay, which isn't really physically possible.
"But why can't you just use a cover and make everyone more comfortable?" Turns out, covers are a pain in the ass. Especially with a newborn who is still learning how to nurse and need lots of help. I found myself trying to negotiate the cover so that I could see my baby and hold him with one hand while positioning my breast for him in the other but still trying to stay covered. Not worth the trouble at all, because I found that I was totally comfortable "whipping it out" in public. Hey, my kid is hungry and this is how I feed him. It's not my job to make other people comfortable. Let's see you eat under a blanket!
"But it's gross, it's like going to the bathroom in public!" Uh, no. I can't even believe this is anyone's argument. Going to the bathroom is expelling waste, while human milk is the purest form of nutrition for babies.
"Well then it's like having sex, it should be private!" Again, no. Not even a little. Anyone who compares feeding an infant to any kind of sexual gratification is kind of messed up. It's not a sexual act at all, and here's a fun fact: breasts aren't actually sex organs. Did you know that? They elicit a sexual response from straight men and lesbians because they are sexualized by our society, but their primary purpose is to produce milk to feed babies. I almost wonder if the underlying reason many men are opposed to women breastfeeding in their presence is that they don't like the reminder that breasts aren't actually for their entertainment.
"Well I'm a (insert conservative religion) and I just think you should have some modesty." Ok, well lets consider that the deity these people worship is most likely believed to have created humans, and therefore a woman nursing her baby is exactly what that deity would want. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but rather a matter of pride.
"But there are kids around!" Cool, let them look. Maybe seeing something so natural and innocent will help them avoid the weird issues so many people seem to have with breastfeeding, and will also teach them to respect the female body as more than a sexual icon.
"Can't you just stay at home if you're breastfeeding?" Sure, thanks for offering to bring me all my groceries, arrange for doctors to conduct house calls, etc. How about no, I've got shit to do.
"What about waiting until you get home? He won't starve." Sure, because I and everyone around me want to listen to a screaming baby while I wait for the waiter to bring the check and then drive home. This is more than just unpleasant for us, though, it is unhealthy for a baby to be left to scream for extended periods of time. It affects the brain chemistry in such a way as to promote aggression later in life, and it damages trust between the baby and his parents. Crying is actually a late sign of hunger; if a baby is screaming, he is VERY hungry and doesn't understand the concept of waiting until a more opportune time.
"Well then go to a public bathroom!" Gross. I don't even like to pee in public bathrooms let alone hang out in one for 20 minutes while my kid eats and absorbs all manner of germs.
"Why do you even need to breastfeed? Just give him a bottle." Sure, let me spend twice as long on every feeding as I pump milk and THEN feed it to my baby. I could just give him formula, you say? Well, nothing against moms who formula feed, but I am a firm believer in "breast is best." It is superior nutrition and offers antibodies from me that formula can't duplicate. Plus, nursing is more than just a feeding. It's a bonding experience between mother and baby that I treasure every second of. (Ok, maybe not EVERY second....)
I also want all of my readers to consider that breastfeeding is very hard in the beginning. It can become frustrating, and without a support system like the one I was very blessed to have, it is easy for new moms to decide it just isn't worth the headache. This may be a decision they will regret in the future, as it deprives them of that bonding experience and also deprives their baby of that awesome nutrition (again, I have nothing against moms who do choose to formula feed; if breastfeeding causes you too much anxiety to enjoy it or if you feel that your baby is not thriving on your milk, then by all means do what is best for your family). A tired and emotional new mom might be one rude comment away from giving up, so ask yourself if you are really SO offended that you think it is worth causing her to stop breastfeeding altogether.
Did I answer all of your questions? I hope so. But here's the thing. I didn't even HAVE to! In 46 states, state law mandates that a woman shall be allowed to breastfeed her child with or without a cover in any place where she is legally allowed to be. So that's my trump card. If you're still THAT disgusted by a mother feeding her child, take it up with your congressman. But know that you are honestly a very damaged individual if you truly have a problem with a hungry baby being fed.
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